My self-limiting story

(Actually, one of many!)

Yesterday’s entry highlighted an issue that probably applies to most of us. One topic stood out for me as I thought about the question:

What are the self-limiting, self-fulfilling stories that I tell myself?

I am not good at thinking on my feet.

I’ve been telling myself – and others – this story all of my adult life. It’s true that I like to have time to reflect and think before responding in most situations.

So, what am I going to do about changing my story?

Well, the first thing that I’ve told myself is that this is not unique to me. I’m confident that all of our self-limiting stories apply to many others.

Secondly, there are ways to turn my strengths to my advantage. Given my preference for reflection etc, I tend to be well prepared for most situations. And, if I tell myself that story, my confidence in responding to ad hoc queries will increase.

Thirdly, I adopt a philosophy that assumes positive intent from the other person. They’re generally not trying to trip me up or embarrass me. They want me input. So, if they value my thoughts, chances are that they’ll be willing to wait a wee while for them. So I can ask for breathing space.

 Finally, I’m actually quite comfortable with saying “I don’t know”. Omniscience is beyond me, so why add pressure?

 

 

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Change your habits, change your life

I recently listened to Chase Jarvis interviewing Ramit Sethi. (It’s a long listen at approximately 80 minutes, but it’s worth it!)

This interview triggered several thoughts, which will appear here in due course.

My key takeaway was:

What are the self-limiting, self-fulfilling stories that I tell myself?

We frequently limit our potential by accepting limitations and developing a fixed, negative mindset about them. We tend to express them in extreme terms – for example, “I can never… “

“Never”? Really? That’s a very long time!

I’m not suggesting that you can be good at anything that you turn your mind to. But, if you have a self-limiting, self-fulfilling mantra that you’d like to change, what are you prepared to do about it?

Are you willing to invest a bit of time to generate ideas to overcome the problem? Will you commit to some focussed learning to develop skills in this area?

Or, are you comfortable to stick in the self-pitying, ‘whinge zone’?

Tomorrow, I’ll share an example from my own whingeing!